Pushing buttons

Every night after the HIV positive kids take their medicine, the entire Wat Opot family gathers for a meeting and meditation.  We sit in rows, say a Sanskrit blessing, then sit quietly meditating and reflecting on the day to a soothing song.  Respecting the dual-Christian and Buddhist influence on Wat Opot, the meditation ends with a group thanks to Jesus, a short song that comes out like "sank you sank you Je-sa."  Everyone participates, even the little kids.  Sometimes they struggle sitting still and sometimes 2 year old Ratana gets up and pulls everyones hair, but usually they do fine.  The meditation is between 4-8 minutes long depending on the song and is followed by a snack.  Many people, including myself before I first came to Cambodia, aren't sure what meditating consists of.  It doesn't have to be some Eat.Pray.Love deep altered state of consciousness, but just a time to sit quietly with your thoughts.  It's a part of the day that I really look forward to and hope to keep doing it once I eventually go home (tear).

Every night two kids get to sit in front and then pass out snack.  It's a coveted role and the slots go by rotation with everyone getting an equal number of turns.  We have a big calendar with 3 months of rotations written out that they love to count down with until their turn comes again.  To give an idea of what it looks like, this picture was taken by Melinda in the kitchen.  Excuse the lighting, it gets dark at 6:30 and we don't start until around 7.

Meditation time is also great for announcements as everyone is in one place.  We introduce new volunteers, say goodbye to departing volunteers, discuss events, address issues, and resolve conflict together as a group.  We've used it to countdown for our trip to the lake, to remind everyone where the trash around campus goes (trashcan), to remind everyone where the spit around campus goes (not on others), to remind everyone who fills the motos with gasoline (so the little kids stop trying to be "helpful" by putting water in the tanks), and most recently to welcome back those who were hit hard by Typhoid fever.

In any family the little kids get picked on and there are fights.  My sister and I fought all the time and there were only 2 of us in the house.  Imagine a home with 56 kids.  They love and care about each other but of course they fight, they pick on each other, the big kids love making the little kids cry, and the little kids love crying to get the big kids in trouble.  Lately, however, it's gotten out of hand.  Wayne decided to do something about it, so naturally he used the nightly meditation time to address the problem.  He didn't just have a talk though.  He got creative.

Last night, Wayne came in with a piece of paper with two circles, one filled in blue and one white.  He sat up front and invited Thear to come push one of the buttons.  Thear pushed on the white.  Nothing happened.  He awkwardly looked around and went back to his seat while everyone perked up trying to figure out what was going on, including me who had no idea.  He next called on Mek Phan to come up.  Mek Phan hit the blue button, Wayne made a DING DING DING sound and Mek Phan was awarded 500 riel (roughy 12 cents USD).  He was ecstatic and everyone else shot up their hands, determined to be called on next.  Lan Krong was the next contestant; he walked up, pushed white, but nothing happened.  He walked away with great disappointment.  They all squirmed around with their hands up in the air, ME ME ME ME ME!!!  Meng Ty was the next lucky chosen one.  He confidently walked up and pushed the blue button like Mek Phan had, DING DING DING!  500 riel!  He was beside himself.  A few more were chosen, ran up to the blue button and claimed their prizes.

Wayne put the paper down and asked the crowd why they would choose the blue button over the white one.  Different kids gave their explanations: nothing happened with the white button, the blue one made them happy, the blue one had a prize, the blue button was fun!  He then told them that everyone of them had buttons of their own.  When someone picks on 5 year old Wey, he cries without fail.  When 14 year old Leak gets taunted, he gets upset every time.  When people pick on Wey and Leak, they push their blue buttons.  They get a response, they feel powerful, it's fun.  Why would they pick on someone who doesn't let it bother them?  Why keep teasing someone who ignores them?  If there's no reaction, what's the point?

The kids were then asked to turn off their blue buttons.  They were told that if they stopped giving the people who tease and pick on them a reaction, the teasing and the picking on would stop, or at least slow down.  I realize this is easier said than done, but today I've noticed a big improvement.  When someone gets mad or upset, they just hold their tongues and walk away.  I don't know if it will last, I hope it does, but at least they have a better understanding of bullying and how to cope with or get around it.  It was a great idea by Wayne and I look forward to watching how the kids apply it.



As of today, we are only $220 shy of our $1000 Summer Fun Fund goal!  Help us get that last bit by donating through paypal under the blog archives.  Remember, everything left over will go to health care and the medical clinic which is getting busier every week!  Thank you :)